Getting things done can be hard. As we progress through life we often find ourselves with more responsibilities, hobbies, interestingly eccentric side projects… and less time to do them all. Even with our cloud-based, color-coded, digital calendars some of us utilize to manage our daily work and personal schedules, we can still find ourselves scrambling for the motivation, energy, and time to do the things we need to do or wish we had more time for. This brief article will explore some scientifically proven ways we can use to bridge the gap between planning and action, so that we might free up time (as well as emotional and cognitive resources!) for the goals in our life we want to make priorities because they are important to us. These can include activities like: regular exercise, social interaction, studying for a test, meal preparation/eating healthy, and more.

Pause!

When in the midst of an argument with your partner, do you notice moments where you might shut down? As if you’re physically there but mentally you are long gone? Maybe instead of engaging in the argument with your partner, you start zoning out, avoiding eye contact, yelling uncontrollably, or displaying with your body that you are disengaged. You may be stonewalling. Stonewalling is when you are physiologically overwhelmed with a racing heart beat and unconsciously holding your breath. This can happen when you are feeling attacked by your partner or you’re simply overwhelmed by the conflict. Think of it as your body’s way of trying to protect you from getting hurt by shutting down, shifting gears to fight, freeze, or flight mode.